Address given by Crystal Waithe at Mass on Sunday, May 25, 2014. Crystal attends Queens College and is presently completing her CAPE Exams.
The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child shall lead them.
Isaiah 11:6
This sounds like the ideal society, doesn’t it? A world where everything is harmonious and all creation lives together in peace, appreciating each other’s importance and having a profound and godly love for each other.
The Painting entitled “Jesus Blessing the Children” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
However, this is not the world we live in today. Unfortunately, we live in a world where we destroy our environment, seek out selfishly for ourselves and train our young to follow the same destructive path. The sad part of all this is that we repeat these negative actions in the hope of achieving positive results. The only way for positive changes to be seen is for the next generation to be properly taught. This is the only way to correct the mistakes of the past.
I often hear individuals question the behaviour of the youth as it relates to morality, violence and the like; this questioning develops into a blame game. When it isn’t the children it’s the parents, the school, the church or the government. While I do believe that we all have a basic sense of right and wrong and are therefore responsible for our own actions, I also believe that all social institutions have a role to play in the lives of children. The argument is always one of nature versus nurture and as the rector said recently “good parents generally raise good children.” Generally, this is true, but like in all things there are exceptions to the rule. However, I do not believe that parenting is the only factor which contributes to the upbringing of children.
When I was younger my grandmother used to say “it takes a village to raise a child”. This means that the entire community has an effect on its children. This would allow for a prime society for children to be raised in. But what is this prime society comprised of? Firstly, it is a society where parents instil good values in their children-respect, honesty, kindness and generosity. This cannot be done simply through words; it must be followed by action.
The rise in domestic abuse and lately bullying create problems for children. Where there is bullying in homes, it is difficult for children to differentiate between the message sent by the schools which is “stop the bullying” and the action shown at home which is abusive behaviour. The message needs to be constant on all fronts. One of the easiest ways to show appreciation to children is to be consistent. If everyone says something different it can become confusing to decide what is right or wrong, what should be done and what should not be done. The family, the school and the church must be consistent in whatever message must be sent.
Another way to show appreciation is time. Nothing too difficult, just time. Spending time with anyone can be difficult in these times. There always seems to be something popping up, something more important but children must be seen as important. We can never be viewed or treated as an inconvenience. Just talking or playing a game or coming to watch us participate in an activity is important.Time cannot be replaced with money, clothes or ipads or phones. It may seem like a good deal too some children but it can be detrimental. It causes us to place material gain over moral values. Besides, sometimes everyone feels a little alone; even children. Spending time with children alleviates this loneliness. It also makes it easier for parents to become aware of what is going on in the lives of their children. Therefore if something is going wrong within the lives of children, the easiest way for parents to discern this is by simply talking their children.
Whatever values have been instilled at home must be reinforced at school and although education is the priority, attention must be shown to children’s behaviour. Since most children spend the majority of their time at school, it can be difficult for parents to keep track of everything which goes on within their children’s lives. It can be made easier if a relationship is formed between parents and teachers. Difficulty with school work is easier to keep track of along with any issues among peers.
Children hate feeling smothered but if we are involved in the decision-making processes and made to feel as though our opinion matters, this can be avoided. Recently, the eleven plus has passed and every year we see parents and teachers who come together to encourage children to achieve the highest grades. Many of these parents and teachers also encourage students to aim to attend the “highest” schools. This puts a lot of pressure on students and those who do not do well often feel like failures. Many of these children do not have much say in how their choices for schools are arranged and so this only enhances their disappointment. This could be partially avoided if parents and teachers allow children to have more say in a process which may affect them for the rest of their lives.
Lastly, there is the church. Attending church together as a family allows for closeness in family bonds to be maintained and allows for children to become closer to the Christian faith which in turn gives them a sense of security and love. This closeness bypasses every issue that could ever develop in a child’s life, every sense of feeling unloved by parents or peers. The love of God conquers all of these and unless you know you will not be able to experience it. As children can only be aware if taught, it is important that families attend church and so bring their children closer to this love.
This appreciation for children leads to them to a lifestyle of appreciation not only towards themselves and their families but towards those around them and the environment surrounding them. This can cut down not only on the moral decline of children but the violence and crime which threaten to ruin our society today. Love and appreciation towards one another are vital for the improvement of this society and it can only begin with the relationship built between this society and its children.
As we come to the end of the observance of Child Month under the theme “Let’s Embrace and Appreciate Our Children” we must follow the example of Jesus who always had time for children. When the disciples attempted to stop those who were bringing children to Jesus for him to bless them he intervened and embraced the children as he said: “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs” (Matthew 19:14). Jesus used children to teach his disciples humility and greatness in God’s kingdom (Matthew 18:4). He further demonstrated his appreciation for children by saying: “but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:6).
The author of Ephesians writes to parents advising them to appreciate and embrace their children: “Parents, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). St. Paul also writes: “Parents, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).
Let us pray:
Heavenly Father, whose Son Jesus Christ, born of a woman, sanctified childhood and shared the life of an earthly home; bless the homes and families of our nation. Give to parents a true sense of responsibility in the care and training of their children, that our boys and girls may grow up in the fear of your Name and the fellowship of your Church, for the glory of Christ our Lord. Amen.
Wayne E. Isaacs
